It seems there are people who will seek any treatment for themselves or a
loved one regardless of the cost (financial, emotional, spiritual, physical
to themselves and to others around them) There are others who will ignore
any diagnosis or maybe not even seek a diagnosis and just accept what life
throws at them. There are people who will only use conventional medicine,
there are those who think conventional medicine is a big con, there are
those who feel the same about alternativesThere are many more people who
fall in the middle and lean more or less to one side  end of these views.

There are people giving advice who also lean towards one or a mixture of
these views. Myself actively working in palliative care, Steph who is a
radiation oncologist and others try to give conventional proven practical
advice. Areb  seems to be pretty hot on conventional and experimental
treatments and offers these as options without (I think) any bias or opinion
on whether they apply as a practical option. There are lots of people who
give valuable advice and support based on their own experience with cancer
and there is "ferric Tom" and various other occasional peddlars of dubious
alternative treatments.

There are always going to be 'heated discussions' about the relative merits
of one treatment versus another but I think it is enough for the most part
to let each offer his view and let the rest of us decide. It is counter
productive and BORING to get into long strings of personal abuse. Reasonably
intelligent people can usually sift what they want from what is offered.
Long strings like this are very confusing and often it is very difficult to
tell who is saying what to whom!

I hope this makes sense
MIKE

while I have lurked in this group for many months and have read many
opinions and obviously patients who come here looking for ways to beat
death ? :-(  there is little said about the real costs (not just
monetary)

I personally went through several months of confusion and subsequent
depression because of physicians and their rushing to do expensive (and
come to find out unnecessary tests)  

The Quality of my life was never addressed by the doctors (only me)   I
think they should also make it clear whether the exhausting and painful
therapies are a "cure" (which I doubt) or whether it is prolonging only
for a short span the inevitability of Death.

I never ONCE (out of 4 doctors) felt for one minute that their concern
was for ME, the individual.  and in their eyes I just saw $$$.  When I
explained that I had no intention of going through chemo - radiation
etc. because I felt that there was no "cure" and rather than spend
months in waiting rooms - being poked and prodded - expensive testing -
additional illness brought upon me by the treatments etc. and thought
that the quality of my last times was more valid and important,  I was
met with outright Hostility and I resented the attitude that I was
somehow less intelligent than the doctors.   ?  

It is my life and My body and I do/did have other choices and I, for
one, resented that my opinions were scoffed at.  The lop-sided viewpoint
of doctors was quite obvious and I would have appreciated other input
that could have been given to me in consideration of my thought
processes.  Help in giving information that was responsive to my desires
was never considered by them.  Nor did I ever think that they were
entirely upfront in regards to what their options would do to the
quality of my life.  

It should always be that quality of life is part of the treatment equation.
Unfortunately for oncologists almost all of their treatments are at the very
least uncomfortable. For this reason they usually gloss over the bad side of
chemo and tend to be over-optimistic about the outcomes. Of course the
outcomes are good or not according to the person who is having the
treatment. A 5% chance of remission may not be worth the pain you have to go
through to get it to you or me but  to a young mother any odds of any extra
time are worth any amount of pain. All the doctors can do (should do) is
give oyu the facts and let you make up your own mind but people being people
can't help putting their own slant on things. The doctors don't do it just
for the money. There are enough people waiting to see oncologists for them
not to need your last savings. Think of them more as frustrated salesman who
have a product they believe will save lives or help people and get
frustrated when you won't buy it.
Of course if you have no intention of taking any kind of treatment anyway
why are you seeing four doctors?
MIKE